sickkkkkk.

ughhh damn the person who gave me this cold. ahem.
it feels like a squirrel was trying really hard to climb up my esophagus, got stuck in the back of my throat, and tried to scratch its way out. it HUUUUUURTS.

so despite this stupid sickness, i had a pretty productive weekend:

friday, a bunch of us (too lazy to name them all) went to chicken n' rice on 53rd and 6th ave. after praise team practice. also met up with steve, jaqie, and their friend there. haha.
joe and i then slept over joyce's apartment after chilling there till 6 in the morn with jenny, dingle, and dave.
saturday, we woke up and met up with jaime and her cousin to have lunch at grey dog's. i didn't eat of course, because of me always lacking money. we then went back to joyce's to bake brownies. but the oven didn't work, so we went back to jaime's dorm to bake them. hahah. dave lee was also there all the way from columbia (smartass). we then all had dinner at laut, a malaysian thai food place. annnnnd of course, i didn't eat. joe and i then proceeded to walk all the way to port authority and took the bus back to pal park where my car was left at togos. dave was sucha good friend for driving and picking us up when he didn't have to.
and then today, sunday, i went to church. stood up and sang with steve and dave since steve didn't want to sing by himself...-_-, even when i had sucha sore throat. we then had dinner at the soondubu place on 46, with again, a bunch of people i don't feel like naming. then pastor juny(?), steve, jaqie, and i went to rita's to have gelatiiiii yayy.

alright, the only reason why i typed my weekend out in full detail, is because i can't sleep. and i'm bored. and i'm sick. i can't sleep and i'm bored, because i'm sick. there. omgoodness...i think i'm getting all delirious. i don't think i'm making any sense anymore. i'm just typing whatever pops into my head. my right pinky is cold. only my right pinky. it's getting numb. omg i'm freaking out. no i'm not. hahaha jk. JEEZ. STOPIT. ok this is the end of this post. i hope no one reads this. although, i already know no one does. hahaahha. alright PEACE FRILLS.

ronrey.

it's times like these when i miss the city most. i'm home alone, all alone, by my lonely self (with the exception of my dog, pucca). my family went off to florida to vaca since my little bro's spring break was this week. i thought i would like the idea of finally having the house to myself.

FALSE.

there's only so much you can do until you realize again, that you're alone. sigh. i don't think i can ever move anywhere by myself unless someone i know and love, is going to be near me. or unless i'm living in a city on the ocean. even then i don't think i can deal with the loneliness. i'm trying to deal by being productive. but, it's not working. haha. wow..i must really not like being by myself. or maybe it's the fact that i'm by myself on a mountain in the middle of east bumblefuck. oi, i need a boyfriend. hahaha. ;p

this here's pucca:

yeah. she's a cutie. at least she's keeping me company...hahh. 

we're livin' in a dog-eat-dog world.

random posting of dogs. shut up, i love animals. there's nothing wrong with that. 

annnd: SQUIRREL!

honey lemon ginseng green tea.

my room was soo messy which reflects the state of my mind. soo i just cleaned it and now i'm ready to start my homework. gonna go to barnes though cuz i can't concentrate here..haha. also just ate a chicken bake from costco. twas so good. it's probably only really good cuz it's a huge portion for only 4 bucks. yumm.

tea to buy for the future: green tea bags with honey, lemon, and ginseng. also contains white tea. soo good. i can drink this all day.


random:

      

sucha cute outfit. wish i had smaller boobs and was thinner so i can wear hoodles sweatshirts. damn. 

cooped up & cozy.

it's 5:12 am right now. i'm up baking a cake for the baby bro's bday, so it's all ready to eat by the time he gets home from school. i know, i'm such a great sister ;) actually...he's just gonna get fatter. i'm such a bad sister ;(. 

anyways. 

it blizzarded today. all day. like crajji. went out at 11:30 pm to go play in it and to sneak two cigs. the snow was friggin knee deep. oh how i love living up in the mountain boondocks. i wore my dad's snowsuit. never underestimate the power of blue, green, and pink neon jumpsuits. it's the warmest and coziest. felt like i was 6 years old again. loved it. 

annnnd i just realized i haven't made any new year's resolutions yet. [actually, this sunday's lunar new year, so i'm not late. mehe.] well....here it goes:

1. start over...

2. lose weight

3. study, study, study

4. cut down on the cigs man..

5. read more like i used to..

6. lose weight

7. be kinder 

8. be selfless

9. do qt more often

10. lose weight

that's it for now. ill add more later if i can think of any. 

p.s. 

i love my family more than anything. 

p.p.s. 

can't forget that God is in control. YES. 

'til next time. 

productivity.

FINALLY. i'm all done and registered for classes at the local community college for nursing. heh yay. even though i'm not entirely sure if i'll love this..i'm definitely going to stick this one out.
i'm just glad i'm being productive again. mehe.

so yeah. this is going to be another short one. haha not much to write on days like these..

back to square one.

happy new year! 2010's gonna be a good year. i can feel it....muuhahah.

alright, so.
in the past year, i've decided that i do not want to pursue art since i don't have a passion for it. so now, i'm seriously thinking about going into culinary arts. because food, i definitely have a passion for. not just eating (haha that's an obvious one..) but cooking also.

buttttt,
the rents want me to just do nursing, since that's a guaranteed job. in a way, i agree with them. i shouldn't think i have the luxury to be able to do what i want after fucking it up for the past two years.
and yet, i've seen how they're miserable since they didn't do what they were passionate for. for instance, 아빠 wanted to pursue the fine arts. and he would've been pretty damn good at it. especially architecture. and  엄마 wanted to be a book publisher and anchorwoman. she would've been great at both since all she does is read and talk like she knows everything..

so why would they tell me to do something i don't want to do?

because of the big fat M word.
MONEY. (god i hate it, but love it at the same time, but then end up hating it again..)
I have a wholeeeeeee bunch of loans to pay off from my past two years of art school (what an effing waste) and i need to pay that off soon..

but (i have alot of buts to cancel out..),
i have a strong gut feeling to do what i want.

what to do. what to do.
listen to my rents? or listen to my gut feeling?!

i should pray about this more. ALOT more. sighhhh.